Family law
Family violence and abuse
Family violence runs through two separate legal systems at once: the state system of police, AVOs and criminal charges, and the federal system of parenting and property. Decisions made in one affect the other. We act across both.
Alicia Catron 0407 171 626 or Michelle Simmons 0407 534 594. Between us we have acted as domestic violence prosecutors and as defence and family lawyers, so we know how both systems handle these matters.
If you are in immediate danger, call 000.
For support at any hour: the NSW Domestic Violence Line on 1800 656 463, or 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732. For men seeking help to change their behaviour, the Men’s Referral Service is on 1300 766 491.
If the person you are worried about can access your devices, consider using a phone or computer they cannot see, and clearing your browsing history afterwards.
What counts as family violence
The legal definition is much broader than physical assault. It covers behaviour that coerces or controls a family member, or that causes them to be fearful. Family members include partners, former partners, children, parents and other relatives.
- Assault, and sexual assault or abuse
- Stalking, following, monitoring, and repeated unwanted contact
- Threats, including threats of self-harm made to control someone
- Repeated derogatory remarks, humiliation and put-downs
- Damaging property, or harming or threatening a pet
- Financial and economic abuse, including controlling access to money, running up debt in someone’s name, and unreasonably denying financial autonomy
- Isolating someone from family, friends or support, or preventing them working, studying or practising their culture or religion
- Depriving someone of their liberty, or of the necessities of life
- Exposing a child to any of the above, including where the child is not the direct target
Coercive control is now a criminal offence in New South Wales. A course of abusive behaviour towards a current or former intimate partner, engaged in with the intention of coercing or controlling them, can be prosecuted in its own right. It does not require any single incident of physical violence. Patterns that people have long been told are “not a police matter” may now be exactly that.
Two systems, running at the same time
This is where people get lost, and where damage gets done. The same conduct can produce an AVO in the Local Court and a parenting dispute in the federal court, and what happens in one is used as evidence in the other.
| State system | Federal system | |
|---|---|---|
| What it deals with | AVOs, criminal charges, police powers | Parenting arrangements, property and finances |
| Where | Local Court, usually Parramatta, Blacktown or Windsor | Federal Circuit and Family Court, usually at Parramatta |
| Who runs it | Usually the police, on behalf of the protected person | The parties themselves |
| What it produces | An order restraining conduct, and possibly a conviction | Orders about children, property and maintenance |
| Standard applied | Criminal charges must be proved beyond reasonable doubt. An AVO is decided on the balance of probabilities | Unacceptable risk of harm to a child, assessed on the evidence as a whole |
Consenting to an AVO is not a neutral step. People agree to an order without admissions to make the Local Court matter go away, without appreciating how the order and the allegations behind it will be used in the parenting proceedings. Take advice on both before agreeing to anything. More on responding to an AVO.
An AVO and a parenting order can also contradict each other. Where that happens the Local Court has power, when making or varying an AVO, to suspend or vary an existing parenting order so the two documents can operate together. It is far better to raise that at the time than to be left holding two orders that cannot both be complied with.
Children and parenting
The court decides parenting arrangements by reference to what is in the child’s best interests, and since the 2024 reforms the first of the matters it must consider is what arrangements promote the safety of the child and of each person who cares for them, including safety from family violence, abuse and neglect.
- There is no longer a presumption of equal shared parental responsibility. That presumption was removed. The starting point is not shared decision-making, and it is certainly not equal time.
- The test is unacceptable risk. The court does not need to find that abuse occurred to the criminal standard. It asks whether there is an unacceptable risk of harm, and where there is, arrangements are shaped to remove it.
- A notice must be filed. Parties to parenting proceedings must file a notice about child abuse, family violence and risk. It is not optional, and it puts the safety issues before the court from the outset.
- Exposure counts. A child who hears or sees violence, or who deals with the aftermath, is affected by family violence even where they were never the target.
- Courts know it happens privately. Family violence and abuse usually occur without witnesses. That is understood, and a matter is not lost simply because there is no independent witness.
- Expert evidence is often involved. A court child expert or a single expert may assess the children and the adults, looking at each parent’s capacity to meet the children’s needs and at the quality of the attachments.
Often overlooked
Family violence now affects the property settlement
This changed in June 2025 and it is not yet widely understood, including by people who separated years ago and have not yet resolved their finances.
- Economic and financial abuse is expressly family violence. Controlling the money, withholding financial support, forcing someone to take on debt, dowry abuse and denying financial autonomy are named in the legislation rather than left to argument.
- The economic effect of family violence is considered twice. First when the court assesses each person’s contributions, because violence affects what someone was able to contribute financially and at home. Then again when the court assesses current and future circumstances, because the effects continue: damaged credit, interrupted career, debt in your name, health consequences.
- It is a factor in spousal maintenance. The court can take the economic impact of family violence into account in deciding whether maintenance is proper.
- It applies to existing matters. The changes apply to proceedings already on foot unless a final hearing had started before the changes commenced, and they apply equally to settlements negotiated outside court.
If your property settlement is not resolved, this is worth advice. People who lived through years of financial control frequently assume it has no bearing on the division of assets. That is no longer the position, and where the effect can be evidenced it can make a material difference to the outcome. More on property and financial settlements.
How we help
Getting protection in place
Applying for an AVO, or dealing with a police application, and making sure the conditions actually fit your situation rather than the standard set. Applying for an AVO.
Keeping your address private
Court documents can be prepared so your address is not disclosed, and service can be arranged so you have no contact with the other party. Tell us at the first appointment and we will structure things accordingly.
Urgent parenting applications
Where children are at immediate risk, or have been withheld or removed, applications can be brought urgently and in some cases without notice to the other party.
Coordinating both systems
Making sure the AVO conditions and the parenting orders can operate together, and that nothing said in one court undermines your position in the other.
Property and finances
Building the economic effect of what happened into the settlement, and dealing with joint debt, accounts and the family home.
Working with support services
We work alongside the Women’s Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service and other local support services, so the legal side and the practical support fit together.
If an allegation has been made against you
Allegations of family violence are sometimes made in the middle of a separation and are not always accurate. Whether the allegation is true, exaggerated or wrong, the response is the same at the start: get advice before you say anything, and comply with every condition of any order in the meantime, because breaching an order is a criminal offence in its own right and will do far more damage than the original allegation.
Do not contact the protected person to sort it out, even where they invite it. Do not have someone else pass on a message. Both can be a breach. If there are children and the order affects your time with them, that is dealt with through the proper channels, and we can act on it quickly. More on defending an AVO.
Common questions
There has been no physical violence. Does this still count?
Yes. Coercion, control, threats, financial abuse, isolation and monitoring all fall within the definition, and in New South Wales a pattern of coercive control towards a current or former intimate partner can now be a criminal offence on its own. You do not need to have been physically hurt for any of this to apply to you.
Do I have to go to the police first?
No. You can apply for an AVO yourself through the Local Court, and family law proceedings are entirely separate from any police involvement. Reporting to police brings the criminal system into it, which is sometimes the right step and sometimes not. We can talk that through before you decide.
Will an AVO stop me seeing my children?
Not necessarily. AVO conditions can be framed to allow contact with children as arranged, or as permitted by a parenting order. The problem arises where the standard conditions are made without anyone turning their mind to the parenting arrangements. That is precisely why advice matters before an order is made or consented to.
We separated years ago and the property was never divided. Does the change help me?
Possibly. The provisions about the economic effect of family violence apply to matters not yet finally determined, including settlements being negotiated outside court. Note that where you are divorced, a twelve month limit applies to bringing a property application, so take advice quickly. More on divorce and the time limit.
I have no evidence. Is there any point?
There is usually more evidence than people think: messages, bank records, medical and counselling records, photographs, and accounts from people who noticed changes. Courts understand that this conduct happens privately. Start keeping a dated record of what occurs, stored somewhere the other person cannot reach.
Can we just agree between ourselves?
Sometimes, and informal agreements work for many separated families. Where there is family violence they carry more risk, because they depend on a balance of power that is not equal. There is also an exemption from the usual requirement to attempt family dispute resolution before applying to court where family violence is involved.
What does it cost?
We will tell you at the first appointment what the likely cost is and what can be fixed-fee. Legal Aid is available for some family law and AVO matters, and the Women’s Domestic Violence Court Advocacy Service provides free support in AVO proceedings. If we are not the right option for you financially, we will say so and point you to who is.
What should I bring to the first appointment?
Whatever you have. Any AVO or court documents, any messages or emails you have kept, and a rough timeline of what has happened. If you have nothing, come anyway. Much of the first appointment is working out what actually needs to happen first.
Talk to us before the next step
Most of the serious damage in these matters is done in the first few weeks, by decisions made without advice: consenting to an order, agreeing to arrangements, saying something in one court that lands badly in the other. One conversation early is worth a great deal later.
Alicia Catron 0407 171 626 or Michelle Simmons 0407 534 594. Suite 3.13, 33 Lexington Drive, Bella Vista NSW 2153. In an emergency call 000. The NSW Domestic Violence Line is 1800 656 463 and 1800RESPECT is 1800 737 732, both available at any hour.